Narcissists have these common traits that helps us to identify them.
How to recognise a narcissist.
In part 1 I introduced the concept of narcissism and how it manifest itself in people around us. In this article, I will talk about some characters of a narcissist and how to recognise them and not be consumed by narcissist.
Spotting a narcissist can be very challenging if you have never dealt with one. The charm around them can be overwhelming that you might not be able to see facade which being displayed. The following are some common traits to look out for and must be observed tenaciously before coming to conclusion. I will add some few tests that you can run to see if the person you are dealing with a narcissist.
1. Sense of Entitlement
A common trait among all narcissists is the sense of entitlement. As stated in part 1 we looked at how narcissism develops in childhood and how this affects the psyche of the child; they think they deserve whatever they wish for and people around them are to make them feel better. They feel entitled to your respect, attention and sometimes your belongs instead of earning it. There is nothing wrong with their actions and you are always the one at fault hence they deserve an apology; even if they are wrong they will manipulatively turn the situation and play with your sense of guilty to get you to apologise that is not your fault. They see themselves superior to others and others as mere objects that are to be used to satisfy their needs.
How to recognition self entitlement in others
This is very difficult to recognise especially for empaths but if you find yourself trying your best to make someone’s life better because you care about them but you don’t see them much value to your life then there is high probability that your are dealing with a narcissist. They go no contact and anytime they reach out either that day or few days later a request comes in, then your are dealing with someone who has a sense of entitlement. Deep narcissists have a clever way of playing this attitude; they will treat you with small gesture just get to you off any conscious thought that you are being used.
2. Lack of Empathy
Ability to oneself into another person’s shoes is difficult for narcissists. The reason is that if they are able to feel and experience things from someone’s perceptive it will disarm of their agenda; they are humans too and they have a heart and mind. The lack of empathy for others makes to able to construct a world around them that makes them think people’s misfortunes are just a result of their inferiority. Now the question is: do narcissistic individuals struggle to understand others’ emotions (their Cognitive Empathy), do not feel them (their Affective Empathy), or both?
How recognise that someone lacks empathy
One common trait someone who lacks empathy exhibit is that, they tend to make jokes out of people misfortunes. This is mechanism they employ in order not to experience any feelings toward the situation or anyone. If you know someone who often times seem not care about people misfortunes and is not willing to do anything to help you attest that they may be a narcissist.
3. Grandiosity
Grandiosity is when one an individual thinks of themselves as special and important. They always seem to talk about their dreams and things that they have done to make them seem special in front of others. They considered themselves intelligent or talented than others.
How to recognise someone with a grandiose trait
You can mistaken someone who is ambitious or have had a great life experience to be a narcissist because there is a fine line between them a narcissist. But the difference is that narcissist ambitions emphasises their specialness and they are sometimes unrealistic. If you look closely you will realise that they have nothing better to offer than just their thoughts and what they think the world should be. They most of the time do not even have the means to achieve them. They just like the attention they are getting the specialness they are feeling.
4. Tendency to Rage
Narcissists tend to be quick tempered and any significant thing can make them rage. This is because they have the self image of importance and that the world around them should constantly satisfy their needs and nothing. This is trait that manifest very often; they can not control what they feel inside. Because of the idea that the world around them should satisfy their needs they are always frustrated and insecure about them. They rely on external validation and they don’t have good always of dealing with their feelings.
How to recognise someone with uncontrolled rage
A quick temper may not qualify as narcissist but someone who makes everything about is clear sign that you are dealing with a narcissist.
5. Arrogance
Because of self entitlement and grandiose nature of narcissists they tend to manifest arrogance wherever they are. They think they know everything and anything challenges their believe system is wrong. They do not accept their short comings or apologies for their wrong doings.
How to recognise narcissistic arrogance.
The always right kind of person is a perfect example. Despite all facts they still stick to their believe system and won’t allow anyone’s opinion.
6. Superficiality
Because a narcissist need validations from the external world, they become very superficial. Their relationships others lack authenticity and reciprocity. If you have happen to be in relationship with one, you realise everything is one sided. They initiate only in their own self interest without considering yours. When it comes something about it either gets discarded or reschuduled.
How to recognise superficiality in someone
If you have to be one who is always initiating and you often get radio silence then you might be dealing with narcissist. If they do not give reasons for their actions unless you ask then they do not care much you. I know this is a hard pill but that is the truth because if someone really cares about you; when they are away or busy they will make time for or tell you why they have not been to reach out even if you don’t ask.
Conclusion
Traits of narcissists are a lot but these are commons. Narcissistic relations with someone be very detrimental to ones sense of sanity. if you find yourself in this situation a professional help and understand the situation so that you do not get consumed and loose your sense of self.
